Sex worker: my body isn’t all I’m worth

For a while, it felt like all anyone saw was my body.

After losing my business, my house and a relationship I thought I understood,

that feeling landed hard.

I was also making adult content through OnlyFans and JustForFans,

then writing about sex and kink on Substack.

Somewhere in that process,

I started owning the words “sex worker”.

Writing about sex doesn’t automatically make someone a sex worker;

I’m talking about my own adult-content work.

Being paid for that work doesn’t make my body the only valuable thing about me.

A conversation at a Wellington Pup Kennel Club meetup helped me understand the industry differently.

I met another pup who was a former escort,

and he shared insights from his experience.

I was already doing the work,

but talking about it helped me recognise myself in the label.

That’s my experience, though.

People do different kinds of sex work, with different circumstances and boundaries.

Nobody owes anyone a public announcement,

and nobody needs to take on my label to deserve respect.

Something worth saying clearly:

paying doesn’t mean you get everything.

A subscription covers the content offered.

It doesn’t mean someone has agreed to meet, provide private details or fulfil every request.

For workers and clients,

being clear about what’s included and what’s off limits helps avoid assumptions.

If you create content with another person, agree on what will happen before filming.

Discuss the activity, recording, editing, publication and any further sharing separately.

Make sure everyone understands what they have agreed to, including where the material may appear.

Check for identifying details before posting.

Even if you later remove the original, copies may remain online.

After seeing one of my posts, Anthony from MSWI.net contacted me.

Our conversations eventually led to my role as Resident Writer & Content Contributor.

I bring my own experience, including the things I didn’t understand or felt embarrassed to ask about.

My purpose here is to make conversations about sex work,

consent and safety easier to have,

and to help people find useful information. One person’s story won’t answer every question,

but it can make asking the next one feel less intimidating.

If you’re looking for a starting point,

MSWI’s worker information covers sex work and harm reduction:

https://mswi.net/male-worker-space

If you’ve experienced sexual harm and want to understand your legal options,

Tika provides a free legal service for adults in New Zealand: https://www.tika.org.nz/.

You can read about how its process works before deciding whether to register.

You can seek information privately, whether or not you’re open about your work.

You deserve care, boundaries and respect alongside whatever you do for a living.

My body is part of my work.

There’s a whole person doing it.

Woulf