🔒 Why It Matters

Managing your money wisely is just as essential as managing your health. Whether you do full-time sex work or occasional bookings, good financial practices protect you from:

Legal risks (e.g. audits, charges)

Exploitation by clients or landlords

Financial instability during slow periods

Burnout from overbooking to survive

This guide helps you track, save, and spend smarter — even if you're working off-the-books or in criminalized settings.

📓 1. Keep Discreet & Accurate Records

Even if you’re not declaring every cent, tracking your income and expenses privately helps you:

See how much you’re actually earning

Prepare for taxes (or defend yourself if needed)

Prove your income for loans, visas, or housing

What to Track:

Income Expenses

Date, time, client code name Transport (Uber, flights, gas)

Service length & agreed payment Accommodation (hotels, short-term rent)

Cash, bank, or app received Sexual health care (STI tests, PrEP, PEP)

Location & notes (optional) Clothing, grooming, photoshoots

Deposits/cancellations Condoms, lube, sex toys, tools

Use a secure, password-protected app (like Notion, Evernote, or even a spreadsheet named something discreet like “Freelance Journal”).

🧾 2. Understand “Business Expenses”

If you ever decide to declare income (now or in future), many sex workers reduce their taxable income by claiming legitimate expenses.

Even if you’re not paying taxes now, it’s smart to keep receipts or logs just in case.

Common Claimable Expenses:

Advertising & website costs

Rent for a workspace or hotel

Phone & internet (work use)

Professional services (accountant, legal)

Fitness/wellness (if tied to work performance)

Do not claim clearly personal purchases — these can get you flagged.

🏦 3. Separate Your Work Money from Personal Money

To avoid mess and risk:

✅ Use a separate bank account for work income

✅ Get a prepaid card or digital wallet (like Wise, Revolut, or Cash App)

✅ Only transfer what you need to personal accounts

This makes it easier to:

Budget your lifestyle

Track income without suspicion

Handle tax time without panic

Bonus: If something goes wrong (client dispute, legal issue), you’ve got cleaner records.

📤 4. Consider Setting Aside a Tax Buffer

If you're in a country where sex work is decriminalized or legalized (like New Zealand), you are legally required to pay income tax — and can also receive tax benefits like ACC or superannuation.

A common strategy is:

Set aside 20–30% of your income in a savings account marked “TAX”

Don’t touch it unless for actual tax or emergencies

File as a sole trader or independent contractor (seek advice!)

Criminalized? Even if you don’t declare income, you can still protect yourself financially by keeping private records in case your legal status changes later.

💳 5. Get Paid Safely

Cash: Discreet, instant, no trace — but vulnerable to theft and hard to track

Bank transfer: Professional, traceable — but may expose identity or income

Digital payments (e.g. PayPal, Venmo): Easy, but often ban sex work if caught

Safer approach:

Use codewords like “consulting,” “freelance session,” or “event deposit”

Avoid including emojis, services, or NSFW terms in payment notes

Use aliases or LLC names if possible (where legal)

📈 6. Budget for Your Future

Even if work is week-to-week, long-term planning matters. Your body, energy, and lifestyle may shift over time.

Tips:

Save a percentage per booking (even 10% adds up!)

Create emergency funds for slow seasons, illness, or burnout

Plan breaks — budgeting for rest keeps you sustainable

Consider investing in safer, income-generating assets (legal business, education, etc.)

"Financial self-care is harm reduction."

🛡️ 7. Avoid Exploitation or Coercive Control

If someone wants to “manage” your money:

Ask: Do they have your best interest or theirs?

Avoid giving anyone full access to your accounts

Never agree to payments in drugs, gifts, or “exposure”

Your money = your power. If someone is taking that from you, it’s a red flag.

✅ Final Reminders

🔐 Keep your records secure and discreet

📁 Keep physical and digital receipts (even if stashed in a folder called “Freelance”)

🧠 Be strategic — don’t rely on one income stream

🧾 If you’re legal or decriminalized, get a tax advisor who understands sex work

❤️ Invest in your future — this job is valid work, and you deserve financial stability like anyone else

📚 Resources

New Zealand IRD: Sole Trader Guide

SWOP Money Toolkit (for budgeting and safety)

ProtonMail + Secure Notes Apps (for discreet record keeping)

Smart Receipts App – stores and categorizes expenses for Android/iOS

🛡️ 8. If You Experience Assault or Violence: Why Financial Records Still Matter

Sexual assault and rape can happen to anyone — including male sex workers. But when you're a man doing sex work, systems often don't take you seriously.

In a legal situation (whether criminal or civil), having clear financial records and paying tax — even partially — can help protect your reputation and strengthen your case:

Shows you're a professional, not “just hooking up”

Counters assumptions that sex workers can’t be assaulted

Builds credibility: you have records, receipts, structure

What helps in court or police reports:

Screenshots or logs of conversations with clients

Records of services provided and payment agreed

Tax returns or business-like documentation

Clear notes about boundaries (what was agreed vs. what happened)

⚖️ Courts often judge credibility harshly. Showing that you run your work like a legitimate business may help shift bias in your favour — especially if someone tries to say “you consented anyway” or “you’re just doing this for money.”

⚠️ Important Note on Support Services

While some sex worker orgs claim to offer legal or crisis help, many focus on female or trans workers — and may not be trained or welcoming to cis male sex workers.

If you’ve had negative or dismissive experiences (e.g. being mocked, ignored, or given unsafe advice), you are not alone — and your experience matters.

Some services may exist only on paper, or rely on under-trained staff.

If you don’t feel safe or supported by a local service like NZPC, that’s valid.

Trust your gut. Just because someone claims to be “sex worker–friendly” doesn’t mean they are helpful or inclusive.

🧭 Alternatives If Support Systems Fail:

Talk to a sex work–friendly lawyer directly — some advertise discreetly as “LGBT-friendly” or “independent contractor–specialised.”

Connect with peer-led male sex work communities online (e.g. forums, subreddits, encrypted chat groups).

Use health clinics, therapists, or doctors that are queer-competent — even if not explicitly “sex worker” focused, they may be safer.

🌍 Global Money Management Tools for Sole Traders

💻 1. Wave (waveapps.com)

• What it is: Free accounting and invoicing software

• Best for: Tracking income, logging expenses, basic reports

• Pros: Free, easy to use, no accounting knowledge required

• Cons: Based in North America — bank linking may not work outside US/Canada

• Harm Reduction Bonus: You can name your business anything (e.g. “Wellness Consultant”)

📱 2. 1tap Receipts / GoSimpleTax (UK-focused but usable globally)

• What it is: Snap photos of receipts and categorize them instantly

• Best for: Expense tracking with minimal input

• Pros: Super easy to use; designed for sole traders

• Cons: Paid plan for advanced use

• Bonus: Can export everything for an accountant or DIY tax return

🔐 3. Notion (notion.so) + Free Budget Templates - checked - legit

• What it is: A powerful workspace where you can build your own trackers

• Best for: Creating discreet financial logs that don’t scream “accounting”

• Pros: Fully customizable, great for privacy (can be password protected)

• Cons: Slight learning curve

• Template: Solo Business Finance Tracker on Notion (edit name/tags for safety)

📊 4. Bonsai (hellobonsai.com)

• What it is: Freelance platform with contracts, invoices, and tax tracking

• Best for: Sex workers who want to look very legit or do more formal gigs

• Pros: Clean interface, tax-ready reports, project tracking

• Cons: Paid monthly subscription

• Discretion Tip: Avoid using their “proposal” features; keep it simple with invoices and expenses

📦 5. Google Sheets + Tiller Money (tillerhq.com)

• What it is: A budgeting template system that links your bank account

• Best for: People who want full control with automation

• Pros: Highly customizable and integrates with Google Sheets

• Cons: Requires a Google account; paid tier for bank linking

• Bonus: Use aliases or vague terms in your spreadsheet for privacy (e.g., "Booking 3", not real names)

💳 6. Wise (wise.com) [formerly TransferWise]

• What it is: A borderless digital bank account

• Best for: Receiving payments from international clients, currency conversion

• Pros: Low fees, no-nonsense transfers, separate from your personal bank

• Cons: Not a full accounting system — just banking

📁 7. Expensify (expensify.com)

• What it is: Advanced tool for scanning receipts and tracking expenses

• Best for: Sex workers who travel frequently or have lots of expenses

• Pros: Smart scanning, mileage tracking, easy exports

• Cons: Best for medium/high-volume earners

🧠 8. Freelance Finance Coaches & Blogs

• The Freelance CFO (Instagram & YouTube): Easy financial advice

• Nerdwallet (Global + US/UK versions): Explains tax tips, budgeting

• @your.richbff (Instagram/TikTok): Friendly, no-shame money literacy

🔐 Tips for Sex Worker–Specific Use:

• Always name your business something non-identifiable ("Creative Consultant," "Freelance Wellness," etc.)

• Avoid platforms that force you to verify the nature of your work (e.g. PayPal business accounts can freeze for "adult" suspicion)

• Keep your identity semi-separate where needed — don’t link work accounts to your personal email or legal name unless necessary

🌟 Top Online Money Management Courses for Sole Traders

🎓 1. Coursera: Financial Planning for Young Adults (by University of Illinois)

• Cost: Free to audit (paid for certificate)

• Best for: Beginners who want solid budgeting, debt, saving, and investing skills

• Why it’s good: Covers the psychology of money, decision-making, and long-term financial habits — in plain language

📊 2. Skillshare: Personal Finance — Budgeting, Saving, and Investing

• Cost: Free 1-month trial, then subscription

• Best for: Visual learners who want short, sharp video lessons

• Why it’s good: Great for freelancers and independent earners; breaks things down clearly

• Bonus: Some instructors are queer and POC, with less judgmental tone

🧾 3. OpenLearn: Managing My Money for the Self-Employed (by Open University, UK)

• Cost: 100% Free

• Best for: Sole traders, gig workers, freelancers

• Why it’s good: Includes realistic budgeting, tax basics, and seasonal income planning

• Vibe: Low-key and no shame; ideal for people who aren’t “mathy”

💼 4. FutureLearn: Starting a Business — Financial Planning

• Cost: Free to audit

• Best for: Sex workers thinking about creating a business (online, in-person, or blended)

• Why it’s good: Great breakdown of business expenses, tax, and cashflow — adaptable to escorting, content creation, etc.

💡 5. Udemy: Freelancing 101 — Money & Client Management

• Cost: ~$15–$25 (one-time, often discounted)

• Best for: Freelancers who want practical tips for managing irregular income

• Why it’s good: Focuses on pricing yourself, handling slow periods, and client boundaries

• Caution: Avoid courses pushing “6-figure hustle culture” — stick to grounded ones with realistic reviews

🧠 6. Next Gen Personal Finance (NGPF) — Free Tools & Mini-Courses

• Cost: Free

• Best for: Anyone wanting to understand money without stress

• Why it’s good: Interactive tools, mini-games, and budget builders — great if you're neurodivergent or overwhelmed easily

• Note: US-focused but still globally relevant

🌟 Top Online Money Management Courses for Sole Traders

🎓 1. Coursera: Financial Planning for Young Adults (by University of Illinois)

• Cost: Free to audit (paid for certificate)

• Best for: Beginners who want solid budgeting, debt, saving, and investing skills

• Why it’s good: Covers the psychology of money, decision-making, and long-term financial habits — in plain language

📊 2. Skillshare: Personal Finance — Budgeting, Saving, and Investing

• Cost: Free 1-month trial, then subscription

• Best for: Visual learners who want short, sharp video lessons

• Why it’s good: Great for freelancers and independent earners; breaks things down clearly

• Bonus: Some instructors are queer and POC, with less judgmental tone

🧾 3. OpenLearn: Managing My Money for the Self-Employed (by Open University, UK)

• Cost: 100% Free

• Best for: Sole traders, gig workers, freelancers

• Why it’s good: Includes realistic budgeting, tax basics, and seasonal income planning

• Vibe: Low-key and no shame; ideal for people who aren’t “mathy”

💼 4. FutureLearn: Starting a Business — Financial Planning

• Cost: Free to audit

• Best for: Sex workers thinking about creating a business (online, in-person, or blended)

• Why it’s good: Great breakdown of business expenses, tax, and cashflow — adaptable to escorting, content creation, etc.

💡 5. Udemy: Freelancing 101 — Money & Client Management

• Cost: ~$15–$25 (one-time, often discounted)

• Best for: Freelancers who want practical tips for managing irregular income

• Why it’s good: Focuses on pricing yourself, handling slow periods, and client boundaries

• Caution: Avoid courses pushing “6-figure hustle culture” — stick to grounded ones with realistic reviews

🧠 6. Next Gen Personal Finance (NGPF) — Free Tools & Mini-Courses

• Cost: Free

• Best for: Anyone wanting to understand money without stress

• Why it’s good: Interactive tools, mini-games, and budget builders — great if you're neurodivergent or overwhelmed easily

• Note: US-focused but still globally relevant

Basic Finance Template